I just quit my addiction this year, and I feel awful.
I crave it in my very soul, but I can't have it anymore.
It was too expensive.
It took over my life.
Chose my friends for me.
Injured my health...
But I still want it.
It was a part of my life for so long;
I met great people while I did it; we had some great times.
And even though it lowered my immune system, even though my throat hurt afterwards, even if I bruised sometimes
I still loved it.
But after high school I had to cut back, reassess, and prioritize.
I have less money now, and it's all for food,
And I don't want my life to go that way anymore.
But I miss the release, the rush, the relaxation, and the comradery it gave me.
And when I see others doing it, I feel a pang in my chest, an intense sadness and longing towards it, and them.
I want to meet them, and become friends with them just because they do it,
but I know that would just be torture and temptation.
Sometimes I just sit down and watch them, breathing in and o